Morning Air Show



40-ish: 52 and looking for 25-yr-old

Athletic: Watches a lot of NASCAR

Average looking: Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back

Educated: Will patronize you all the time

Free Spirit: Banging your sister

Friendship first: As long as friendship involves nookie

Fun: Good with a remote and a six pack

Good looking: Arrogant

Very good looking: Dumb as a board

Honest: Pathological Liar

Huggable: Overweight, more body hair than a bear

Likes to cuddle: Insecure mama's boy

Mature: Older than your father

Open-minded: Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested

Physically fit: Does a lot of 12-ounce curls

Poet: Wrote ex-girlfriend's # on a bathroom stall

Sensitive: Cries at chick flicks

Very sensitive: Gay

Spiritual: Got laid in a cemetery once

Stable: Arrested for stalking, but not convicted

Thoughtful: Says "Excuse me" when he farts


40-ish: 49

Adventurer: Slept with all your friends

Athletic: No breasts

Average looking: Has a face like a basset hound

Beautiful: Pathological liar

Contagious Smile: Does a lot of Ecstasy

Educated: Banged her Political Science professor

Emotionally Secure: Medicated

Feminist: Ballbuster

Free Spirit: Junkie

Friendship first: Trying to live down reputation as a ####

Fun: Annoying

Gentle: Comatose

Good Listener: Borderline Autistic

New-Age: All body hair, all the time

Old-fashioned: Lights out, missionary position only

Open-minded: Desperate

Outgoing: Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate: Sloppy drunk

Poet: Depressive Schizophrenic

Professional: Certified Bitch

Redhead: Bad dye-job

Reubenesque: Grossly Fat

Romantic: Looks better by candle light

Social: Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray

Voluptuous: Very Fat

Weight proportion w/ height: Hugely Fat - as tall as you are wide

Wants Soulmate: Stalker

Widow: Drove first husband to shoot himself

Young at heart: Old bat



What is the noise you hear at the World Cup??



Shania's "Starlight" fragrance was available only for a brief period of time and can now no longer be ordered new from the manufacturer. However, we still have the Starlight fragrance at Shania's official online store!

This may be your last opportunity to purchase Shania's "Starlight" fragrance!

Also, for a limited time while these quantities last, each order of Starlight will come with a FREE Shania Twain "Nail Head" sleeveless tee!



Tropical Storm Agatha swept across Central America yesterday, bringing torrential rain that killed more than 100 people and opened a 60m-deep sinkhole in Guatemala City which reportedly swallowed up a three-storey building.

The first named storm of the 2010 Pacific season dumped more than a metre of rain in parts of Guatemala, also hitting El Salvador and Honduras. At least 113 people were reported killed, with around 50 missing in Guatemala alone as rescue workers searched through the rubble.