Watch What You Give Up!
A man is walking in the city when he is accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking bum who asks him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man takes out his wallet, extracts two dollars and asks, "If I give you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?"
"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the bum says.
"Will you use it to gamble?" the man asks.
"I don't gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive."
"Well," says the man, "will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?"
"Are you mad? I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"I've decided not to give you any money," the man says. "Instead, I'm going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife!"
The bum is astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."
"Hey, man, that's OK," the other man replies. "I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up drinking, gambling and golf!"