Good News Bad News
A man goes into the hospital for some tests. The medical staff knocks him out, and when he comes around a doctor is peering over him, pulling up the eyelid, and wielding the reflex hammer. "Ah, I am glad you're awake. I am afraid I have mixed news for you", says the doctor. The man says, "Don't hold back doc, and tell me the bad news first.” We had to amputate your legs", the doctor replied. The man then asks, "What is the good news?" "The man in the next bed wants to buy your slippers."