Al Woody's 6:20 Funny
A blond and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.
The blond jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this".
She goes downstairs.
The blond finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog is still barking,
What have you been doing?"
The blond says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!
peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you doing there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was very concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of dirt then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."
An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a while. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to move to the next step.
Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. 'How do you feel about sex?' He asked, rather tentatively.
'I would like it infrequently' she replied.
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered: 'Is that one word, or two?'
A lecturer teaching medicine was tutoring a class on 'Observation'. He took out a jar of yellow-coloured liquid. "This", he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant to colour, smell, sight, and taste."
After saying this, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched on in amazement, most, in disgust. But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped one finger into the jar and then put it into their mouth.
After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. "If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my 2nd finger into the jar and my 3rd finger into my mouth."