Al Woody's 6:20 Funny
A student went to Nebraska on a football scholarship. He was a great running back, but a poor student.
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ?
After Brian proposed to Jill, his father took him to one side. “Son, when I first got married to your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was take off my pants. I gave them to your mother and told her to try them on, which she did. They were huge on her and she said that she couldn’t wear them because they were too large. I said to her, 'Of course they are too big for you, I wear the pants in this family and I always will.' Ever since that day, son, we have never had a single problem." Brian took his dad’s advice and did the same thing to his wife on his wedding night. Then, Jill took off her panties and gave them to Brian. “Try these on,” she said. Brian went along with it and tried them on, but they were far too small. “What’s the point of this? I can’t get into your panties,” said Brian. “Exactly,” Jill replied, “and if you don’t change your attitude, you never will!”
Last summer, the President and Mrs. Clinton were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. On a venture one day, they stopped at a service station to fill up the car with gas. It seemed that the owner of the station was once Hillary's high school love.
A man received the following text from his neighbor:
Jerie's husband Matt died suddenly one day. Jerie was taking care of the funeral arrangements with the undertaker when she was asked how she wanted Jeff's obituary to read.
Jerie asked the undertaker, "How much does an obituary cost?"
The undertaker replied, "One dollar per word."
Jerie then said, "I want the obituary to read - JEFF IS DEAD."
The undertaker was an old fishing buddy of Jeff's and he was a little disturbed by such a curt obituary, so he offered, "I'll make you a special deal since I knew Jeff so well. I'll pay for half of the obituary out of my own pocket."
Jerie's face lit up and she replied, "Great. I want it to read - JEFF IS DEAD, BOAT FOR SALE."
A guy goes to a female dentist to have a tooth extracted.