Teacher Interview (8/2/12)

After being interviewed by the school administration, the eager
teaching prospect said: "Let me see if I've got this right....

You want me to go into that room with all those kids and fill their
every waking moment with a love for learning. And I'm supposed to
instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity, modify their disruptive
behavior, observe them for signs of abuse and even censor their T-shirt
messages and dress habits.

You want me to wage a war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases,
check their backpacks for weapons of mass destruction, and raise their
self-esteem.

You want me to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship,
and fair play, how and where to register to vote how to balance a
checkbook, and how to apply for a job.

I am to check their heads for lice, maintain a safe environment,
recognize signs of antisocial behavior, offer advice, write letters of
recommendation for student employment and scholarships, encourage
respect for the cultural diversity of others, and, oh yeah, always
make sure that I give the girls in my class 50 percent of my attention.

My contract requires me to work on my own time after school and
evenings grading papers. Also, I must spend my summer vacation at my
own expense, working toward advance certification and a Master's
degree. And on my own time you want me to attend committee and faculty
meetings, PTA meetings, and participate in staff development training.

I am to be a paragon of virtue, larger than life, such that my very
presence will awe my students into being obedient and respectful of
authority.

And I am to pledge allegiance to family values and this current administration.

You want me to incorporate technology into the learning experience,
monitor web sites, and relate personally with each student. That includes deciding who might be potentially dangerous and/or liable
to commit a crime in school. I am to make sure all students pass
the state mandatory exams, even those who don't come to school
regularly or complete any of their assignments.

Plus, I am to make sure that all of the students with handicaps
get an equal education regardless of the extent of their mental
or physical handicap.

And I am to communicate regularly with the parents by letter,
telephone, newsletter, and report card.

All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, a computer,
a few books, a bulletin board, and a big smile AND on a starting
salary that qualifies my family for food stamps!

"You want me to do all of this....
and you expect me NOT TO PRAY?"