Poor Uncle Carl

Poor Uncle Carl went to sit down. He grunted and grunted, and my, what a frown!

“What's the matter?” asked Auntie, “Are you ailing?”

“Oh!” groaned Uncle Carl, “This old body's failing. Hurts my hands to open the door; got no teeth, and my gums are sore. My legs cramp and my eyes are red.

"Can't half hear; no hair on my head. Can't see very well without my specs. When I turn my head, it hurts my neck.

"On my arms are great big bruises; can hardly bend over the put on my shoes. Arthritis in my back; sinus in my nose; knots on my fingers; and corns on my toes. I'm skin & bones, with my cheeks sunk in.

"When I close my mouth, my nose hits my chin. My legs ache and my feet go to sleep. When I move around, my poor joints creak. I take a cold in the slightest breeze. Those lumps are not door knobs, they are my knees.

"Had about all diseases you could name - everything connected with aches or pains. I drag my feet across the floor. Besides all else, people say I snore. If there's anything more I'm supposed to take, it had better hit me quick, or twill be too late.

"But I'm not giving up, no, ma'am. I just thank the good Lord I'm as well as I am!”